Factsheets: Myths and Facts

Myth: Rape is not a big deal. It is just sex.
Fact: Rape is not sex. It is about overpowering the body of another human being. And it is a big deal because "Nearly one-third of all rape victims develop Rape-related Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (RR-PTSD) sometime in their lifetimes, and more than 11% suffer from RR-PTSD at the present time (National Center for Victims of Crime & Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992)."

Myth: Only strangers commit real rapes.
Fact: Friends or acquaintances of the victims committed over half of these rapes or sexual assaults. Strangers were responsible for about 1 in 5. (Violence Against Women: Estimates from the Redesigned Survey)

Myth: Women who are raped were asking for it.
Fact: No one ever, deserves to be raped. A victim should never be blamed for the actions of the perpetrator.

Myth: Unless a weapon is used, it wasn’t rape.
Fact: It is considered rape anytime someone uses force with intercourse or other sexual acts against a person’s will. The force may include weapons or intimidation, drugs, alcohol or any other tool to diminish the person’s judgment.

Myth: If he bought dinner she "owes" him sex.
Fact: No one ever "owes" anyone sex.

Myth: If she didn’t fight back it wasn’t really rape.
Fact: Any sexual act forced upon another person is considered rape. It does not matter if the person fought back or not.

Myth: Husbands cant rape theirs wives. It’s her duty.
Fact: Being married does not mean a partner can obligate and force sex upon their mate. Rape can happen anywhere, by anyone.

Myth: Women cry rape because they had sex and changed their minds.
Fact: Rape is not a regret, it is a crime!

Myth: If it is really rape then the victim will report it immediately.
Fact: Only 16% of rapes are ever reported to the police. (1992) Due to public perception, because of the fear of being blamed, self-blame or post-rape trauma, many rapes are not reported for many months, or even years.

Myth: She really wanted to have sex so it was ok to get rough.
Fact: If you not sure, then ask. We all have the right to say no, change our minds, or decide not to have sex. It is not ok to get rough if her/his words or body language says no.

Myth: Rape only happens to women.
Fact: Men can be raped as well. Five percent (5%) of rape victims ages 12 and over in a 1994 survey were male. (Bureau of Justice Statistics 1994 Crime Victimization Survey) AND 7% of all American men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. At least half of these men are exclusively heterosexual. (Federal Bureau of Investigations, 1997)

Myth: Rape only happens to women on the streets late at night.
Fact: Nearly 6 out of 10 rapes occur at the victim's home or the home of a friend, relative, or neighbor. (Greenfeld, 1997)

Myth: I don’t know anyone who’s ever been raped.
Fact: Chances are you do know someone that has been raped. Victims of rape can be family members, friends, people in your community such as doctors, nurses, engineers, social workers, clergy, teachers, children, adults and teenagers.

Myth: A woman who goes to the home or the apartment of their date implies that she is willing to have sex.
Fact: Consent for sexual contact is not defined by one’s willingness to enter someone else’s home, including a date.

Myth: Only certain types of women can get raped.
Fact: There is no such thing as a type of person that is more likely to get raped. Women and men of all ages, religions, class, cultures, beliefs or geographic locations can become a victim.

Myth: The majority of rape victims are promiscuous and have bad reputations.
Fact: People that are not promiscuous and have good reputations can get raped too.

Myth: Many women "cry rape" to get back at the men they are accusing.
Fact: According to the FBI, less than 2% of rapes are falsely reported.

Myth: Women of color are more likely to get raped than white women.
Fact: There are no specific racial, ethnic, or socio-economic factors that predispose a person to victimization.

Myth: When a woman says "no" she really means "yes."
Fact: No means no. If you are uncertain, then it is your responsibility to ask.

Myth: All women have a subconscious desire to be raped.
Fact: No one wants to be raped. It is a violent crime and the victim may experience physical and mental symptoms for years to come.

Myth: Women who wear short skirts or tight tops are looking for sex.
Fact: How a woman dresses is not an invitation for sex.

Myth: Women who claim they were raped are really just looking for attention.
Fact: The attention gained by being raped is not something a person would want. Rape is a very difficult, traumatic experience to overcome with emotional scars that last for years.