FACTSHEET:
Violence Against Gays and Lesbians
The victimization of gays and lesbians based upon their sexual orientation includes harassment, vandalism, robbery, assault, rape and murder. The location of these crimes is not restricted to dark streets leading from gay establishments. Violence against gays and lesbians occurs everywhere: in schools, the workplace, public places and in the home. Those who commit these acts come from all social/economic backgrounds and represent different age groups.
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FAQ: Safety on the Streets: A Guide for Teens
You may be experiencing a new kind of freedom in your teenage years. Your family may give you more responsibilities and the chance to spend more time with your friends. This extra time with your friends may put you in new or different social situations and new neighborhoods. With your parents not around as much, you now have the important job of making more decisions for yourself and keeping yourself safe while you are having fun. If you forget about your safety, your fun can quickly turn into danger. This guide was written to give you some tips on staying safe and healthy.
New social settings like parties are a fun way for you to spend time with your friends. Most of the time parties are a safe way to hang out with your friends but sometimes things can happen that can make a party a dangerous place to be. It's important to think ahead and know what to do if a party gets out of control.
Here are some very important tips on how to keep yourself safe at a party:
- Never walk away with strangers. There will probably be people that you don't know at a party. Stick with a group of your friends. When you are talking with new people, get to know them and decide whether or not you can trust them. It's always safer to go home from the party with the friends you went to the party with!
- Never be alone with someone who has been drinking or taking drugs. Alcohol and drugs affect people differently so someone that you know well could act very differently and be a threat to you.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs. Taking drugs or drinking alcohol puts you at risk. You may be taken advantage of, because your judgment will be impaired.
- Tell your parents and friends where you are going. It is important that your family and friends know where you are. They may need to contact you or, more importantly, you may need to contact them if you find yourself in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation.
- Never get in a car with someone who has been drinking. You have probably heard that you shouldn't drink and drive. But also, never get into a car with someone who has been drinking. Drinking and driving puts your life in very serious danger, and it also puts other drivers on the road and other innocent people, like children playing near the road, in danger too. Call your parents to pick you up or get home with someone who has NOT been drinking at all. Even one or two drinks can affect a person's judgment, reaction time, and ability to drive safely.
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Date rape drugs are most commonly used to sexually assault a person. The drugs often have no color, smell, or taste and are easily added to drinks without the victim’s knowledge. These drugs usually cause a person to become physically helpless—they can hardly move and are not able to protect themselves from being hurt. They cannot remember anything that happened to them while they were under the effect of the drug. These drugs cause many other health problems that make a person very ill, and in some cases even cause death.
It’s hard to know whether a party, club, or concert you plan to attend will be dangerous. Drugs may not be at every party you go to, but you should still have a plan for keeping yourself and your friends safe no matter what. Here are some tips to help you protect yourself wherever you go:
- Don’t accept drinks from people you do not know or ones you just met.
- Only accept drinks from someone you know well and can trust (like your good friend). If possible, get drinks that are unopened and open them yourself.
- Watch your drink and keep it with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom. If you didn’t watch it the whole time, get rid of it!
- Don’t share drinks with anyone.
- Don’t drink from punch bowls or other large, common, open containers. They may already have drugs in them.
- Don’t drink anything that tastes, looks, or smells strange. Sometimes, GHB tastes salty.
- Always go to a party, club, or concert with someone you trust, such as a friend or an older sibling. Have a non-drinking friend stay with you to make sure nothing happens.
- If you think that you or someone you know has been drugged and raped:
- Go to the police station or hospital right away!
- Get a urine (pee) test as soon as possible. The drugs leave your system quickly. Rohypnol leaves your body 72 hours after you take it. GHB leaves the body in 12 hours.
- Don’t urinate (pee) before getting help.
- Don’t douche, bathe, or change clothes before getting help. These things may give evidence of the rape.
- You also can call a crisis center or a hotline to talk with a counselor. One national hotline is the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE or 800-787-3224 (TDD). Feelings of shame, guilt, fear and shock are normal. It is important to get counseling from a trusted professional.
For more information about drugs, contact these organizations:
General Information
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No matter what the situation is, you can develop a plan to help keep yourself safe. Read the following list and develop your safety plan right now!
- Tell your parents where you are going, who you will be with, and when you will be back.
- Carry money, a phone card, or a cell phone in case you need to make an emergency phone call. Don't forget to keep emergency numbers and the phone number of a taxi service in your wallet or backpack or program them into your cell phone.
- Stay in well-lit public places.
- Stick with another person or a group of your friends.
- Be aware of strangers. If you talk to them, don't volunteer information about yourself.
- Pick code words with family and friends - words that you can say when you are concerned so that you can let your parents know over the phone that you are uncomfortable and want to be picked up from wherever you are. (Make sure you talk with your parents ahead of time so they know the signal - so when you call you can get picked up right away.)
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There are certain things that you can do to keep yourself safe until you are near home. Here are some tips:
- Walk with another person whenever possible. There is always safety and comfort in numbers, so the more the better. It is important that you are aware of your surroundings - look up and down the street on both sides and even behind you. Walk on the sidewalk of main streets and stay where it is well lit. It is better to keep your headphones off instead of listening to music so you can hear and see what is going on around you. Walk quickly and confidently to your destination.
- Trust your feelings when you are walking in an unfamiliar neighborhood. If you are worried that you are being followed, cross the street to see if the person does the same. Do not be afraid to start running if you need to - don't wait until the person is very close to you to begin running. Go to the nearest store, restaurant, or police station.
- Don't fight with someone who tries to take your belongings. If an unfamiliar person grabs your purse or bag, just let go and do NOT struggle with them. If you fight, you risk getting hurt. Money and other belongings can be replaced - your safety is the most important thing. Run in the opposite direction of the person and go to the nearest police station or business to call for help. Don't forget to use your voice. Yelling for help is a sure way of getting the attention of people around you.
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When you were younger, your parents probably taught you never to talk with strangers. This is a good rule for children but in your teenage years that rule doesn't always seem to fit. There are lots of times when it is necessary to talk to someone that you don't know. Most strangers turn out to be nice people, but it is important that you do not trust everyone that you meet right away.
Know the warning signs and how to protect yourself:
- Be aware of anyone in a car who stops to talk to you or ask you for directions if you are walking down the street, even if you are in a familiar neighborhood. Try to keep your distance from the car and never offer to get in the car even if it sounds like the stranger is going in the same direction that you are headed. For example: Don't get in a car if a stranger tells you that there is some kind of an emergency requiring that they bring you home.
- Be assertive. If a person that you don't know comes up to you to start a conversation, you don't have to talk to them if you don't feel comfortable. Don't be afraid to sound rude if someone keeps bothering you. Stay calm and firmly and loudly say "NO". Remember that "NO" is a complete sentence - you don't have to explain yourself to someone that you don't know. If you don't want to talk to someone, don't do it.
- Be street smart. Not all dangerous strangers are immediately rude or forceful when you first meet them. It is important that you are aware of strangers, both men and women, who seem charming - the ones who make conversation and get important information about you without your even realizing it. Remember that you do not have to share any information, especially important details about yourself if you don't want to. For example, just because a stranger tells you where they live, it doesn't mean that you have to tell them where you live. Don't volunteer unnecessary information about your plans or even your full name. Remain in public where you are comfortable and surrounded by other people. You should never go off alone with someone you don't know.
- Be careful who you trust. Keep your distance from a new person until you have had the chance to learn about them. Don't trust someone who follows you around or won't leave you alone if you ask them to. You can make up code words with your family that they will use if there is an emergency at home. This way, if a stranger comes up to you and says that there is an emergency and that you need to leave with them, you can ask for the code words that only you and your parents know. Pay attention to how the stranger that you are talking to acts when there are other people around - see if they seem comfortable and continue acting normally even in the presence of security guards, store or restaurant employees, or other adults. If you are worried or nervous, you can go to police officers or to security guards with nametags and badges. You will also find people who may be able to help you at information desks and customer service desks at public places like the mall, and also restaurant or store managers.
- Be prepared. Check out self-defense classes in your city or town. Your local police department or school might offer classes that can teach you how to protect yourself and how to handle uncomfortable situations. Thinking ahead and planning for your safety is a way to feel powerful and confident!
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This information comes from
4 Girls Health,
a poject of the National Womens' Health Information Center.
This FAQ was produced by The National Women's Health Information Center.
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